Funny Package Instructions

Well, it looks like it isn't necessary to have any common sense anymore. Read some actual instructions on the labels of consumer goods.

Ballpoint Pen

The cap in your mouth can obstruct breathing if swallowed.

(Note that this warning is only in the English section of the instructions. It does not appear in the Spanish, French or German sections. Perhaps they know better.

Dust Masks

Does not supply oxygen.

Hot Tub

Avoid drowning. Remove safety cover from spa when in use.

Leather Handgun Holster

Label on a leather handgun holster which is disguised as a personal digital assistant: "For gun only, not a functional day planner."

Bicycle

"The action depicted in this brochure is potentially dangerous. The riders seen are experts or professionals." What's wrong with that? Well, some of the children pictured in the brochure have training wheels on their bikes.

Hairdryer

Do not use while sleeping.

Food Processor

Not to be used for other uses.

Peanuts

Warning: Contains nuts.

Airline Packet of Peanuts

Instructions: Open packet. Eat nuts.

Iron

Do not iron clothes on body.

Christmas Lights

For indoor or outdoor use only.

Bar of Soap

Use like regular soap.

Sleep Aid

Warning: May cause drowsiness.

Frozen Dinner

Serving Suggestion. Defrost.

Bread Pudding

Product will be hot after heating.

Superman Costume

Wearing: This garment does not make you able to fly.

Corn Chips

You could be a winner. No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Children's Cough Medicine

Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medicine. (When did we lower the driving age?)

Tiramisu Dessert

Printed on the bottom: Do not turn upside down.